Unfollow: A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church – Megan Phelps-Roper

Megan Phelps-Roper was born and raised in the warmth of a loving tribe made up of grandparents, parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, all living in a comfortable compound with swimming pools, jungle gyms, gardens, lounges, televisions and a chapel.

Her family is part of the congregation of the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas started by her grandfather, Fred Phelps, in 1953. Before starting the church Phelps practised civil-rights law because, he believed, all men were created equal under God. Apart from, it seems, homosexuals, whom God hates.

Owing to its extremist and activist nature, the Baptist Church eventually cut ties with the Westboro Baptist Church, which now acts independently. And when you read Megan’s story of her life and connection with this infamous organisation – despised by so many who had been at the wrong end of its hate campaigns – it becomes clear why the Baptist Church would have swiftly distanced themselves.

Megan grew up in the safety of structures and practices created by her family, whose members form a rich cast of hardworking, highly educated and predominantly law professionals, but who nevertheless blindly follow their pastor’s teachings. They are all unquestionably loyal to the church and live by the faith – as per the ‘mouth’ of God – which also serves to justify their bizarre actions.

Despite the fact that the children attend the local school and have free access to education and all forms of electronic media, they remain relatively isolated from the rest of the world. Brainwashed to believe that it is an act of love to picket for hours every day from the age of six or seven on street corners, outside their school gates and at funerals of American soldiers with outlandish signs shouting: "God Hates Fags" and "Thank God for 9/11". Their church’s hatred is aimed at American society which has condoned gay rights, and is justified by select verses from the bible learnt and repeated by the children from an early age.

But typical of any cult, this isolation leaves one with no other interests apart from that which exist inside the group and for the good of the group. One is conditioned to justify and defend the beliefs and actions of one’s ‘church’ against the rest of the world. That is, until doubts surface and disillusion soon follows and one begins to search for the exit. Only then does one realise that there is nowhere to flee, nothing to retreat to, no family or friends, no money or belongings. It is this wall of fear and isolation that traps people and is the most difficult to break through.

Growing up in the digital age, and working closely with her mother in the general administration of the church and various legal cases in which the church becomes involved, Megan is well equipped to take charge of the WBC’s online communication and their Twitter platform. Based on her implicit faith in her church and the bible, she debates, argues and interacts actively with a community of people who all strongly disagree with her and her family’s beliefs.

In the process she is exposed to the views and opinions of her church, unlike the rest of her blinkered family members. Inevitably, she starts to harbour doubts and begins to question some of the actions by the church justified as its ‘patriotic duty’.

As her doubts continue to emerge, she questions whether the church is in fact based on love as she was raised to believe. She starts witnessing more and more hate inside the church as a number of the so-called elders plan a coup. When her devoted mother is side-lined and discredited by factions in the church, she decides to leave, even though it would mean she will lose the only life she’s ever known, along with any contact with her family.

And thereby, as they say, hangs another tale.

Unfollow: A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Westboro Baptist Church is a confirmation of our strength and will as human beings to stay true to ourselves. I celebrate Megan’s courage as she sets out to use her experience and her escape to oppose not only the hateful campaigns (even if they’re claimed to be borne from love) of the Westboro Baptist Church, but also to warn against a current global phenomenon of nationalistic, isolationist and prejudicial groups (be it religious, social or political) that are based on exclusivity and hate.